Tag Archives: Coaching

Reselling clothes to delete, erase and remove unwanted memories

The film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, was influential when I grew up. I was in early adulthood. You can see the attraction of wanting to edit out and wipe over sources of disappointment and pain. Our lives do fall short of our expectations, or hopes. And sometimes we had placed too much expectation on one of our relationships, or a group of people.

I’ve found reselling items a powerful way to find closure about upsetting or inconclusive memories. And including relationships where there wasn’t a way to say goodbye either.

Reselling helps to remove the items which may trigger a memory which you are wanting to experience less often. Packaging up the item of sentiment, and folding over it with the closure of the parcel then putting it into a postbox. It’s all a metaphor in real life, for letting go of the person or grievance.

We feel resistance to letting go

I’m sure I hold onto more belongings than I should. One significant moment was selling my guitars from my early adulthood. They signified very positive emotions and experiences. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have sold them. My dad was disappointed. I used the money to purchase a laptop, because in lockdowns I wanted to improve my IT skills.

One person brought a guitar and collected it after driving all the way from Liverpool. Coincidently Liverpool is the last place I truly felt creative with my instrument, as that’s where I went to uni.

The other guitar was brought to be a present for someone’s nephew. There was a sense that someone fresh, younger may find new enjoyment in it.

Letting go mistakes

I wouldn’t tell everyone to sell items which they treasure, if you don’t feel sure over time that you want to sell it, please don’t. Sometimes you are happy to see how you might feel without the items and its sentimental energy. And sometimes there are people who will sell you a sob story to make you feel you should sell your valued item for less.

Rejection and memories of times with low confidence

Items associated with a time when you had low confidence or experienced a vivid rejection, can be helpful to resell. Or you can tidy them away out of sight using storage solutions like zip up coverings for clothes, to keep them safe.

If and when you hear from the new owner of the item, about their positive feelings with the product, then you have created a new memory, a new connection about the object with unwanted emotions attached. And you can start to think of the disappointment or sentimental memory being somehow shared with a new owner, who will help take care of it for you.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338013/ – The link to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on IMDB,

‘When their relationship turns sour, a couple undergoes a medical procedure to have each other erased from their memories.’

The concept of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Reselling sentimental items, a much safer way to make peace with unwanted thoughts and disappointments.

Use the money in case it goes past it’s sell by date!

Are you a spender or a saver? I try to have something to save, but I also love having all of my available money put to use. My mum showed me some ways I could maximise my money, saving on my bills by being organised and choosing how much to keep as a buffer, and how much could be employed elsewhere.

I work full time and have done for most of the last 9 years give or take a few seasons of sparsity.

I don’t envy folks on Universal Credit. They have no way to increase their income, it stays the same. As a worker you are able to do as much overtime as you can cope with. So often if you see the weekly outgoings exceeding income, well, then you do another short or long shift to top up.

I went to a few property and investing type seminars, even some business workshops. They told us not to think of money as a dirty word, and that you need to work with it, to get results.

One of my friends is more ‘live for today’, as she doesn’t think she’ll be here for ages, but she’s very strong minded too, so who knows, she may have more time to save for than she imagines. I like to prepare for tomorrow and do the best with today’s opportunities.

How about you?