MASKS

I can’t feel my face anymore – mask dysphoria

Of course, we all can agree that facemarks were needed, and necessary without doubt to prevent the spread of covid.

Having now spent 3 years working as a carer for adults, I have started to feel a sense of shame or guilt about my full face. Seeing someone bare their face, feels somehow offensive. My mind draws the rest of the face and I often imagine the face to be different from the one which is behind it. And did you know, our brains erase our noses, as in reality we can always see them.

I was looking back at the first lockdown videos, as YouTube congratulated me on 100 subscribers. This early TikTok video is one of the last memories I have, of feeling normal about faces.

The constant compulsory mask wearing, has disoriented my spacial awareness of faces, and even how to move mine. I find myself less sure of myself as I speak to my colleagues on the bus stop without our masks. But fortunately it only takes a smile to break the ice.

Saying good bye to the freedom to wear your face as it is. Three years on, does anyone else have similar feelings of dysphoria or shame and guilt about showing your face without covering your mouth or nose and mouth?

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