It was supposed to refer to impatiently waiting for the next upgrade on my technology, like Ironman. But also when I felt worn down inside and out I wished I could have a newer model of me.

Is it to do with modelling….. As I have some family connection with the New York fashion industry. Perhaps it was as I did some modelling at an audition in London but my family rang me to ask me to leave as it looked like it might be a scam.

Sure enough some money was taken from my account and an attempt to spend several hundreds at the Nike Web store.


These sorts of things make me feel like I’m having some sort of blip. I had a really long survey come through from Tinder and I answered it very carefully.


Plus I do find it a tad irritating how everyone just judges you on your pictures anyway as I keep going round the relationship roundabout.

An extra note on this one which is that I occasionally attend the Unity Sexual Health Clinic in Bristol for both advice on relationships and support with any sexual health matters. I admire the work which is being done, but would also add that as someone who has lived in the centre of a big enough city that I am glad to be aware and notice what dating life is like for folks in 2019.

Second Step Click through

I’m including a link to second step here as this post is pretty sensitive reading and it has been necessary for me to attend some drop in sessions occasionally with Second Step. It has helped whilst going through periods where I am out of a relationship or just experiencing some alone time, even if it is naturally part of everyone’s experience to be or feel alone.